Just When I Thought

I got an external hard drive for Christmas, which was something I've needed due to the massive number of pictures I have stored on a stack of old cd's. So last week I uploaded all of those old pictures to my new hard drive and what a journey. The pictures are basically a documentation of the last 2 years of my life, 5,117 of them. The journey has been a sad one, pictures of people I used to know, people who've changed, times when things were different. However, I am so thankful for the memories, and most of all for the pictures that although they may be 2 years old, they could have been taken yesterday, because nothings changed. And the new pictures, the people I didn't know then, that I know now. It's all but a snapshot of a life, a short time in which change has come letting me know that more is coming the good and the bad. At least, I'll have the pictures.

Escape

Life is good no matter how I feel, I am blessed. I spent yesterday walking all over Boone in the rain with four cameras. It was quite pleasant I enjoyed the rain, although my cameras didn't, and Boone is a nice town to walk around in. After walking around taking pictures and video for quite some time, I walked the two miles to my car only to realize my keys where back in my room. Oh well. So I walked back and got Marshall to come let me back in. So anyway, it was a good day.

Into Words

charleston sc

A few days ago, I was on the phone with Jamie discussing the latest amazing episode of The Office, and we were both agreeing about how much we both dislike Roy, and Jamie began to tell me about an X-Files episode she saw where David Denman (Roy) guest stars. A large mushroom, or something, on or around Brown Mountain NC apparently eats him; obviously this is a wonderful thing. Finally a chance to see the hated Roy get his due. So of course we promise to watch said amazing episode upon my next visit.
Now, I have recently discovered that the X-Files come on every weekday at 5 on Sci Fi, so naturally I have been watching them. I was just getting overly excited at the beginning of yet another glorious episode when I recognized Roy. My first thought was, oh sweet! It’s that episode Jamie told me about! I quickly felt puzzled, why don’t I feel like watching this? I realized that I had no desire to watch this episode without Jamie, so I turned the TV off. And though I have watched several other episodes since, I have realized that the X-Files, to me, are much more than aliens, vampires, and a frustratingly wonderful love story, it’s comfort. It seems that, no matter what life’s throwing at me, no matter what I’m going through, when I’m on Jamie’s couch watching something ridiculous, its ok. It’s like watching Garden State when you’re depressed. It just makes you feel better, and you’re not entirely sure why. This is something I’ve always known, and felt, but it’s good to put things into words sometimes. So, Jamie, when I see you again, our plans are set, as if that needed to be said…

We Should Be

If I make the lashes dark
And the eyes more bright
And the lips more scarlet,
Or ask if all be right
From mirror after mirror
No vanity's displayed:
I'm looking for the face I had
Before the world was made.
-Yeats

Driverside

lauren kish, myrtle beach sc

Well as he is want to do, God has been revealing himself just when I've needed it most. Little things just pop up as he whispers that he's here. It is wonderful to be back in Boone. A place I know I'm meant to be. Right now I'm just happy for my life even though it hasn't exactly been wonderful lately. God is so good to me, there would be know living without him, not for me, and not for anyone. I don't understand why anyone would want to live without him. Anyway, love you guys, thanks for the prayers and the friendship.

With One of Two I Get Used to the Room

laura the german, jessie stafford, and (in background) jamie harris, myrtle beach, sc

"And when we get home, I know we won't be home at all
This place we live, it is not where we belong
And I miss who we were in the town that we could call our own
Going back to get away after everything has changed" - paramore

As some of you know, Christmas break was something less than magical this year. This is the hardest time of my life so far. Yet God has been here with me the whole time, and he is still with me, even though sometimes I want to be alone. So no matter what he is good and he is God. He's been here in the little things, letting me know that he loves me, and that it will be ok. So as I feel extremely unable to put my thoughts and feelings into words, the words of others must suffice for now.

Andrew Largeman: "You know that point in your life when you realize that the house that you grew up in isn't really your home anymore? All of the sudden even though you have some place where you can put your stuff that idea of home is gone."
Sam: "I still feel at home in my house."
Andrew Largeman: "You'll see when you move out it just sort of happens one day one day and it's just gone. And you can never get it back. It's like you get homesick for a place that doesn't exist. I mean it's like this rite of passage, you know. You won't have this feeling again until you create a new idea of home for yourself, you know, for your kids, for the family you start, it's like a cycle or something. I miss the idea of it. Maybe that's all family really is. A group of people who miss the same imaginary place."

He is with me and he is for me.